


Ascension

by bobbyspeach



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Death, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief, Healing, Love, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25037881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobbyspeach/pseuds/bobbyspeach
Summary: After a tragic death, Josephine unknowingly finds herself slipping into a depression. Left with a daughter, Josephine struggles to juggle between grief and moving on. Follow along as she travels through the five stages of grief and finds an unexpected love in the process.Bobby moves to England to open his new bakery. But all that changes when one of his friends passes away. Now Bobby can only focus on helping Josephine out of the dark cloud she's falling in. His new bakery will just have to wait.
Relationships: Bobby McKenzie/Main Character (Love Island), Lucas Koh/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on my way to heaven  
> If I can't make it out of this hell  
> -Jhené Aiko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Funeral Is Taking Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was originally called "Goodbye Lucas"  
> It has been re-written into the second and third person  
> When I first wrote this I honestly had no idea, what I wanted to do with this, but I'm super excited to finally have all the pieces together for this story.

_"Do you think she’s going to be okay?”_

_“Poor girl. She lost a daughter.”_

_“At least she has one of her daughters.”_

Josephine could hear every whisper around her. She has seen every form of on pity from various faces. She could feel the heavy and intense feeling of grief surrounding the room. It was a sunny day in England. You could say it was good weather for a double funeral, but everything felt like ice. Despite the brightness in the sky, it was gloomy and dark. Josephine would rather stick needles in her skin than be here. She didn’t want to be here. She doesn’t have the strength to be here. She’d rather live her life in denial and run away from the truth. Because the truth was breaking her. Killing her. It was stabbing her deep in her heart with every breath she took. This funeral is the final piece to the puzzle. After this, her life changes forever. 

Josephine won't have the pleasure of waking up to fresh coffee like she did every morning. She won’t have the big breakfast Saturday's anymore. Those were things Lucas loved to take care of. Now she’ll have to learn to cook meals. Nothing in her life is normal now. With a blink of an eye, her life has drastically changed. There was a hole that formed deep inside her. It was dark and fragile. In her mind, she was standing on the edge of a cliff, ready to jump off at any moment. She wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone. In all her twenty-six years of life, she’s had the pleasure of never losing anyone close to her. This was feeling of grief was so new and raw. She didn’t know how to handle it. How could she cope with this? 

Josephine looked at the two caskets in front of her. On the left was the father of her children, her fiancé, the love of her life. Her best friend, her rock, her everything. Lucas. On the right, was her two-year-old daughter, Olivia. Lucas and Josephine had met on a reality TV show three years ago on love island. They were like fireworks sparking off of each other. They had both came on the show to find the love of their life and they found that in each other. They ended up winning and moved in together. A year after, Josephine had found herself pregnant. And even a bigger surprise, she was pregnant with twins. It was a huge celebration between family and friends. Especially, with her love island family. 

They had shared the news with them over dinner. Chelsea had almost fainted from excitement of becoming an aunt. Priya and Lottie had to sit her down while fanning her face. Bobby, Gary, and Henrik argued who was going to be the best uncle. Everyone was excited and it was a memory she had cherished in her mind till this day. 

Josephine thought back to that moment, when she was seven months. Her stomach was large and was passed her toes. She would stare in the mirror frown at how big her stomach was. She cried about it to Lucas one night. _“I look like I swallowed two large watermelons.”_ Josephine complained. Lucas was always so caring and gentle with her. “ _Two watermelons that I love.”_ He responded kissing her on the cheek. Josephine adored his presence during her pregnancy. He was at every doctor visit, parenting class, and pregnancy class. She knew he was going to be an amazing father even before the girls were born. Fast forward a couple months and the twins were born. Beautiful girls named, Abigail and Olivia. 

Motherhood proved to be challenging. Especially, with two newborns. They decided to gang up on me with two different schedules. When Abigail would fall asleep, Olivia would wake up. When Jade finished eating, Abigail refuses to eat. It was hard first two months for the couple, but soon things started to normalize. Sometimes, Josephine would be so exhausted she would sleep through the children's cries. Lucas would take over then, letting his fiancé sleep through the night and taking care of his girls by himself. Josephine would wake in a panic and find Lucas asleep in the rocking chair with the girls lying on his chest. Josephine’s heart warmed as she stared at the three of them. It was her favorite moment. 

Josephine and Lucas loved noticing all the differences in their personalities as they grew older and older. Olivia was fast in her development, where Abigail took her time. Olivia was babbling and crawling a little after six months, where Abigail took her time and crawled a little after eight. Olivia was such a daddy's girl, she loved playing rough with Lucas, giving Josephine heart attacks. Olivia was more social and louder, something Josephine was fascinated by. She was definitely Lucas’s daughter no doubt. Abigail was the opposite and was a complete mommy's girl. Abigail was quieter and sensitive. Josephine adored cuddling her while she wrote music and enjoyed coffee. Abigail had inherited her mother’s traits. 

At the thought of her daughter, Josephine looked around the church, looking for her. She found her napping in her uncle Bobby’s arms. She was dressed in a cute black ballerina dress. She looked completely innocent while sleeping. She always sported a thumb in her mouth, something Lucas frowned upon. Josephine would shrug not thinking it was a big deal. She was a thumb sucker when she was around her age also. They just had to work on getting her to stop. Lucas had promised he would extra hard on it. 

An ache pierced through Josephine’s heart. _How can he work on it now? He’s gone.._

Josephine swallowed a lump in her throat trying to discard the thoughts in her mind, but she couldn’t. 

_She will never know her_ _father..Will_ _she even remember him? She’s only two..she’s so young. What about her sister? Will she remember her twin? Her sister? Her other half? Is she even aware of what’s going on?_

Josephine tried to calm her breathing as someone’s voice broke through her thoughts. 

_“I heard they were on the brink of divorce.”_

Josephine hissed squeezing her eyes tight. Josephine and Lucas weren’t even married..yet. If they were even going to have a wedding. Lucas had indeed proposed to her, but the more they talked about the wedding, the more arguments they had. The date was constantly being pushed around. And then came the- 

Josephine shook her head and turned back to the two caskets in front of her. _I guess all of that doesn’t matter now._

Despite the rough patch Josephine and Lucas were under, she did indeed love him and she wanted nothing more than to marry him. But the world was against them and with another argument, Lucas had stormed out of the house, along with Olivia, yelling, " _I never wanted to marry you anyway!"_ Josephine was crushed as she watched Lucas drive away from their home. She had waited up all night, without a phone call or a text from Lucas. It wasn't until three in the morning where she had got the traumatic phone call. 

_“Hello?” I answered._

_“Hi, is this Josephine?” A deep male voice asked._

_“Who is this?” I asked getting a horrible feeling in my stomach._

_“I’m so sorry to tell you this ma’am..._ ” Josephine will never forget that phone call. Her mother, who lived ten minutes away, came to stay home with Abigail, while Josephine rushed to the hospital. She paced the children's hospital floor for an hour before the doctor came out of surgery to tell her that there was nothing else, they could do to save Olivia. Josephine, felt her soul leave her body. She was completely numb as she collapsed in one of the chairs. She couldn't breath and even if she wanted to, her lungs wouldn't allow her. She could feel a nurse touch her shoulder and another doctor waving a hand in her face, but she couldn't hear what he was saying. It felt like someone was choking her. The pressure was tight and heavy. It wasn't until her eyes and ears tuned in to the face and voice of Chelsea, that she finally took a breath. Immediately, the pain came full force causing Josephine to erupt into cries, and burying her face in Chelsea's neck. 

Once Josephine could gather her strength, they had walked across the street to the main hospital. There was an officer waiting for her and he explained that Lucas was speeding down the road when a semi had hit him on the side. Lucas didn’t have his seat belt on and neither did Olivia. Both should have been killed upon impact, but they fought for their life. Lucas passed away in surgery an hour later and at this point her heart was shattered. She felt like her body had shut down yet she was still breathing. _She was still breathing while her daughter and_ _fiancé_ _were getting ready to be buried under_ _ground..._

Josephine looked at Abigail, once more, to find her awake this time. Josephine locked eyes with her daughter and Abigail's face brightened when she noticed her mother. Josephine wanted to smile, she wanted to run to her daughter like she usually did after her nap, but she had no energy to. Abigail and Josephine connected on a more emotional level, whereas Lucas and Olivia bonded more with each other. It made sense in Josephine's mind as she watched Lucas leave with Olivia. Josephine lived to sit with Abigail, strumming her guitar, while Abigail rested with her head on her mothers lap, for hours. Olivia would last fifteen minutes before she would leave to find her father. _And now they are gone..._

Josephine calmed her breathing as she found the preacher giving him the okay to start with the service. Josephine walked over to Bobby, picking up Abigail in her arms. She gave Bobby her best smile as a thanks, before she went to sit down next to her mom. The ceremony was as expected. Josephine spent the whole time staring at the caskets in disbelief. The day after tragedy hit, Josephine had spent countless days locked in her room. She wanted no part in the funeral planning, she left that her to her mom and in-laws. Chelsea had stayed with her to give her some company and Josephine was grateful for her, she truly was. But all she wanted to do then was be alone. She wanted to drown in her grief until she took her last breath. 

This pain she feels is like no other. How on earth is she supposed to move on with her life, when she's in so much pain? How can she go on with her life when she feels so alone? How can she survive every morning, waking up and having to re-process that two of her most precious people, were never coming back? And then like every night as she cries herself to sleep, Abigail's face will pop up in her head, and she'll hold on to that. If it wasn't for Abigail, she'd be dead by now. Josephine pulled Abigail tighter to her chest, trying to find solace. The burial is where Josephine lost it. She felt her breath get heavy as she walked to the edge of the plot and stared down the caskets being lowered. She chocked on sobs as she fell to her knees sobbing into the ground. Her hands tightened around a patch of grass as she mourned her loss. 

She felt arms wrap around her shoulders and pull her in a hug as she sobbed for her daughter and Lucas. Josephine, didn't know how she was going to go on like this. Josephine cried until her tears subsided and she her breathing calmed. She pulled away from the arms holding her and looked into the eyes of Bobby. He was staring at her with concern written all over his face. She looked around noticing everyone had left, besides Chelsea, Priya, Gary and Bobby. She had given, Abigail to her mom, earlier so they must have gone back home already. Josephine snuffed and looked back at the graves in front of her. After a couple more minutes in nothing but silence, Josephine voiced she was ready to go. 

Bobby helped her up and they made their way back to the limo provided, by her in-laws. The drive back to her house was silent. No one knowing what to say. Josephine stared out the window, still trying to process that her child and love were forever gone and never coming back. Once she reached her house, she was alarmed by the screaming she could hear inside the house. Josephine, jumped out the car in a panic, as she realized it was Abigail. She opened the door to find Abigail screaming by the stairs. 

"She was looking for you." Josephine heard her mom say. Josephine grabbed her daughter immediately soothing her cries. Ignoring everyone behind her Josephine walked upstairs, locking herself away for the rest of the day. 

Bobby sighed as he watched Josephine walk up the stairs. He wanted to do something for her, but he didn't know what. He doubted there would be anything to make her feel better. _Lucas..._ Bobby thought to himself. When he received the devastating news from Gary, he couldn't believe it. He immediately picked up the phone calling Gary, begging him to say it was a prank. But it wasn't. Chelsea had sent the official news to everyone in the group chat, confirming his passing. Bobby didn't know what to think, in fact he couldn't think. 

Bobby and Lucas weren't best friends, but they were good friends. They were good buds. Lucas was always the victim of Bobby's pranks, and despite Lucas being annoyed at them, he ended up laughing as well. Bobby was also good friends with Josephine. In fact, Bobby was closer to Josephine more than he was with Lucas. They had formed a great friendship while on the island and Bobby was happy to see it carry over to real world. 

Although, the sudden passing of Lucas was random and unexpected. All he could think about was Josephine and how she was doing. Bobby texted Josephine everyday despite her never replying to his text messages. He was sure, she was broken, inside. She not only lost Lucas, but one of her children. That was even more devastating news. He felt horrible for her. Today was his first time seeing her since receiving the awful message. For someone to have chocolate skin, she looked pale. She looked completely lost and through the whole funeral he felt like she was in the clouds. Bobby missed the smiling Josephine, he knew before all of this, but he had a feeling he wouldn't see her for a while. Bobby felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked to see Chelsea with a sad smile on her face. 

"She'll come down later. Everyone is out back." Chelsea spoke, squeezing my shoulder and walking through the small foyer into the kitchen. I took one last look at the stairs before following Chelsea outside. I took a seat next to Gary, who patted me on the back. I gave him a tight smile as we all sat in silence. Henrik sat opposite of Gary. Out of all of us, he was the closet to Lucas. He lost his best friend. I felt bad for him. He nodded at me in greeting and I nodded back. No one at the table said anything. We just sat in silence listening to others speaking around us. Chelsea cleared her throat causing us all to look up at her. 

"I hear that when you lose someone, the best thing to do, is share your favorite memories about them." Chelsea spoke. "We should talk about some of our favorite memories of Lucas." She suggested. She tried giving us her best smile before she shared her favorite memory. Next went Priya, and then Henrik, and so on. Soon enough, the five people at the table were no longer sad. They were laughing and crying with each other. Even Henrik dropped in the conversation. For the first time today, everyone seemed happy. If only Josephine was there to share that moment with them. 

Soon guests were leaving one by one and it was only Bobby and Chelsea in the kitchen. Chelsea had just finished talking with Josephine's mom and had promised to stop by tomorrow afternoon to check on her daughter. Bobby helped Chelsea clean the kitchen before making them some hot chocolate. They sat with each other at the table sipping quietly, before Chelsea once again, broke the silence between them. 

"I'm worried about her Bobby." She spoke quietly. Bobby stared at Chelsea. She was looking back at him with a worried expression on her face. Bobby, adored Chelsea. Chelsea and Josephine bonded quickly while on the island. Bobby will never forget how Chelsea practically jumped on Josephine, sealing their friendship right then and there. They were always joined at the hip and were always cackling and giggling with each other. Chelsea knew Josephine inside out, so to hear this, brought concern to Bobby. 

"What do you mean?" Bobby asked. Chelsea sighed and bit her lip. 

"She never comes out of that room. She's there all day with the door locked. Sometimes, she'll open the door for me and sometimes she won't. She's not eating. I know she's going through something tragic and I know it's hard for her, but Bobby," Chelsea stops as tears form in her eyes shaking her head. Bobby reaches and grabs one of her hands and squeezes it, letting her know that he's here for her. 

"Bobby, I've dealt with grief before. I've seen people grieve, but not like how she is. Bobby, she breaks down at night. I can hear her through the vents. I can hear her crying for Lucas some nights, and then she'll cry for Olivia. I don't know how to help her. I'm supposed to leave Sunday, but I don't want to leave her alone." Chelsea wiped away her tears with a napkin before continuing speaking. "I've decided to stay here permanently. I talked with my boss and she said I could work online, and only come into the office unless it's completely needed." 

"You're a wonderful friend, Chelsea." Bobby smiled squeezing her hand. Chelsea smiled back and giggled a little before looking towards the stairs. 

"She's just so broken Bobby. I don't like seeing her like this." Chelsea said shaking her head. 

"I don't like it either. She doesn't deserve any of this." Bobby voiced. "Hey, I haven't said anything due to...you know. But I'm actually moving to England. So, if you need any help, I'll be happy to assist." Bobby offered. Chelsea smiled telling him she would keep him in mind. And then their conversation moved to his plans. Bobby explained that he had found a nice flat above an old bakery shop, and he had planned to open it up. Chelsea was ecstatic and started giving him advice on decorating and design. We chatted for a while before we heard footsteps coming down the hallway. 

Josephine found Bobby and Chelsea in the kitchen. She had woken up a little bit ago to find it was a little after seven. She had found Abigail asleep next to her. She had changed them both out of their funeral attire and made their way downstairs. Josephine was surprised to hear the house quiet. The only sound she heard, were a couple voices in the kitchen. Deep down she was delighted to find Bobby and Chelsea in the kitchen. Abigail, was more than happy, as she quickly ran to hug Bobby. 

Bobby had proven to be the girl's favorite uncle. Olivia had loved him as well. And it was more so out the womb. When the girls were first born, Bobby was in competition with Gary and Henrik. They each would take turns feeding, playing, and taking care of them. I didn't complain, one bit. It gave me a little break. But as the girls got older, it became clear who the girls favored. To Gary and Henrik's disappointment, Bobby had been crowned the favorite uncle. Olivia and Abigail adored Bobby just as much as he adored them. Which wasn't surprising. Bobby loved letting his inner child out and the girls got a kick of it. 

Josephine smiled inside as she watched Abigail squeeze Bobby's cheeks as he made a face. For once, Josephine felt joyful as she watched them play. She had forgotten about everything behind her and enjoyed this small moment between the four of them. A small, genuine smile, formed on her lips for a couple seconds before the weight of the world crashed back on her shoulders. 

Little did Josephine know that this moment would one day come again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> tumblr: @diamondjordan


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say time heals all wound, but how long?
> 
> Time can bring ya down  
> Time can bring you to your knees  
> -Eric Clapton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I work extra hard trying to bring in all the emotion. This fic is really challenging me and I love it. Hope you all enjoy!

Josephine ignored the knocking from behind the door. She could hear the sound of her mother's voice asking to see her. Usually, Josephine would be delighted to see her mother, but now she just wanted her to go away. She didn't want to see her mother staring at her with pity. She didn't want to hear her mother asking if she was eating enough. She didn't want to be asked if she was okay, because truth be told she wasn't. It's been two days since the funeral. Two days. Josephine was a wreck. A complete wreck. She has refused to leave the bedroom the past two days, only wanting to lie in her bed and ignore everything and everyone around her. 

Chelsea had left yesterday to start her transition into merging their houses together. Chelsea had sat Josephine down, shortly after Bobby had left and shared the news that she was moving in. Chelsea had expressed her concerns and explained exactly why she was moving in. Chelsea had asked her if she was going to be okay on her own for a couple days, while she prepares her move, and Josephine just shrugged in response. Unfortunately, that wasn't a great answer for Chelsea. As soon as Chelsea left, Josephine's mother pulled in the driveway with a suitcase. 

Josephine wanted to tell Chelsea she didn't have to worry about her. Josephine wanted to tell Chelsea, that she doesn't have to change her life for her. Josephine wanted to tell Chelsea that she was going to be okay. But deep down she knew she wasn't. Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay. Not while Lucas was buried six feet under and her baby girl beside him. She had hoped that after the funeral, things would go back to normal. She had hoped that she could wake up in the morning and be okay. She wanted to go and play with her daughter. She wanted to play her guitar. But she couldn't. She felt weak inside and out. 

She sighed as the knocking stopped outside her door. She heard her mother's footsteps down the hallway and she took in the silence around her. She sighed as she pulled one of Lucas's sweater to her nose. She took in his scent that she missed so much. She missed him. She missed him so much. He was all she could think about. She thought back to that fateful day, the last time she saw him, how he yelled at her. She remembered his cheeks blazing in anger as they argued back and forth. Josephine let out a sob. She remembered hearing the girls screaming behind the door. She remembered as Lucas stomped through the house, picking up Olivia before slamming the door in her face. 

_"I never wanted to marry you anyway!"_

Josephine sobbed as she thought about the horrid afternoon over and over again. Those were his last words to her. Yet, she still missed him. She still wanted to be with him. She still loved him. She'd do anything to have him here right now. To feel his hands wrapped around her. To hear his voice. To hear his laugh. To see him smile. Now, she was left with nothing. Nothing. Just a broken heart. Josephine cried until she couldn't any longer. Her eyes trailed to the clock on her nightstand showing it was around six in the evening. 

She heard her stomach rumble in the silence which she ignored also. She looked at the plate her mother had left for her on the dresser. It was her favorite meal. The meal her mother has made since she was young. Pot roast, with mashed potatoes and broccoli. She would eat this meal everyday if Josephine had her way. Lucas had once tried to make it for her, and burned the roast into charcoal. Josephine thought back to a memory of when Lucas had attempted to cook for her. 

_“Um_ _Lucas..what’s_ _that smell?” Josephine had just arrived home from the studio. It was late, a little after ten, when Josephine had walked inside to find Lucas waiting for her at the door. He was dressed up in a nice outfit which made Josephine smile in curiosity. Lucas had explained that he had a nice dinner planned out for them. Josephine smiled widely before she sniffed the air._

_Lucas's eyes widened before he ran into the kitchen. Josephine giggles as she followed him into the kitchen. She watched his head pop up from the oven before placing a pan on the stove. Josephine turned the corner of the island where, Lucas closed the oven. He lifted the pan and coughed when clouds of smoke filled the air. Lucas looked over at Josephine with a helpless look._

_"I_ _um..tried_ _to make dinner_ _?_ _" Lucas told her with a now sheepish expression on his face. Josephine smiled giving the burn pan a glance before stepping to Lucas and crashing her lips onto his._

Josephine trailed her eyes away from her dinner and sighed. That was a couple months before she had found herself pregnant. What a time they had. Josephine brought Lucas's shirt closer to her nose and hugged it to her face. She laid there a couple more moments before getting out of bed. Josephine walked out of her room and made her way downstairs. She found her mom sitting at the kitchen table drinking out of a mug. A look of surprise crossed her mother's face before she set her mug down. She smiled at Josephine before asking her to sit at the table across from her. 

Josephine sat down knowing her mother wanted to have a talk, but Josephine really didn't want to. But she knows if she were to turn around, her mother wouldn't let her live with that disrespect. So, she sat down anyway, not wanting to disrespect her mother in any way. Josephine, loved her mom with all her heart. She was her best-friend, her mentor, her big sister, and first love and all. Josephine's father had passed away six months after Josephine was born from cancer. 

Josephine never knew her father growing up and she won't lie, it was a huge void in her life. It wasn't until Josephine had turned thirteen, when Josephine's mother had met Brian, who is now her stepfather. Brian made Josephine's mom happy and Josephine loved that about him. He also made Josephine happy and filled in that missing void she's been searching for. Josephine loved Brian and she was forever grateful that he came in their lives. Currently, Brian was away on a business trip. He came back for the funeral and left shortly after. 

Josephine's mother stared at her as she sipped some more of her coffee. Josephine wished she would get on with whatever it was, she had to say already. She was ready to go backup stairs now and lay down. Josephine and her mother sat together in silence, neither one saying anything, or knowing what to say. There wasn't much to talk about. But Josephine did have a question. She's always wondered this ever since she was a child. Josephine and her mom didn't talk about her father much. Josephine had questioned about her father in the past, and her mom would give her any answers she needed. But now the situation was different and Josephine wanted to know how to handle this situation from someone who understands grief best. 

"Does it get easier?" Josephine voiced. Her voice was unsteady as it cracked when she spoke. 

"Does what get easier?" Her mother asked. Tears filled Josephine's eyes in frustration. Was her mother really going to make her say it? 

"Losing someone. Does it get easier?" Josephine looked up as she watched her mom put down her cup. 

"It only gets easier if you let it honey. Time will heal." Her mother told her. Time? Josephine is supposed to let time heal her? Well how long would that take? 

"How long did it take you? How did you manage-how did you do it with me? How were you still able to function?" Josephine questioned. Josephine's mother searched her eyes as she stood up from the table. Her mother walked around the table and pulled a chair so she was sitting in front of her daughter. Josephine's mother took her daughters hands in hers and sighed. 

"I won't lie to you, losing your father was hard. Especially, with you being just born, and I was all by myself. I remember feeling alone, scared, and depressed. I was in so much pain. Pain like no other. I was having a hard time grieving. I stopped eating, couldn't sleep, couldn't think, I basically drowned myself in grief. And I was okay with that aft first, but then I noticed I was starting to neglect you." 

"I started forgetting you needed bottles or diaper changes, and I knew it wasn't right, but I just didn't have the energy. No matter, how much pain I was in, or how much it hurt, I knew that I wasn't emotionally or mentally in a place where I could take care of you. So, I called my mom, who was retired and wasn't working. And she offered to take you, while I worked on getting myself back on my feet. And only when I knew I was better inside my heart, is when I came to get you." 

"It took me three months to get myself back on my feet." Josephine looked up at her mom then, surprised. Her mom just nodded and sighed. "It was a long three months. The longest three months of my life. I cried all day. From day to night. I screamed, I threw things, I cursed, I didn't leave the house for days. I was hurting so much. I was in so much denial about it. I really lost myself in that grief. I still think about it to this day." Her mom sniffed and wiped one of her eyes. 

"After those three months, I got you back from my mom, and I continued raising you like the mother I should have been to you. As you got older, I kept seeing similarities between you and your father. You guys have the same eyes and nose. You both eat the same, act the same, sometimes If you looked a way, you guys had the same face expressions. It was hard getting to see so much of him and he wasn't here to see it." 

"But you also have a lot of me in you and I can see how much you are hurting. I not only see it, but I _understand._ I understand what you are feeling, I understand the pain you're going through, and I understand the grief that is weighing on your shoulders. I want you to know, Josie-" Josephine's mother cut off as she held back a sob. She took a deep breath before she calmed her breathing. 

"I don't know what it feels like to lose a child-" Josephine's mother started to say, but was cut off. 

"Don't talk about that." Josephine interrupted pulling her hands out of her and clenching them by her sides. 

"Josie, you should-" 

"I said no!" Josephine snapped at her mom glaring at her. Her mom put up her hands ending the conversation right then and there. 

"I'm sorry." Her mom apologized trying to get Josephine to relax again. Josephine sighed as she un-clenched her fists. 

"No, I shouldn't have- I was wrong- I just-" Tears filled Josephine's eyes and she bit her lip as she shook her head to hold them back. 

"It's okay honey." She heard her mom whisper before she felt arms wrap around her. Josephine wanted to cry in her mother's chest and she was ready to, but it was the soft noise of small feet entering the kitchen that made them both turn their heads. Abigail walked in the kitchen and Josephine quickly wiped her eyes to hide being so upset. 

“Mommy is awake.” She whispered before running over to Josephine’s legs. 

“Hi, baby girl.” Josephine whispered as she picked up her daughter. Josephine smiled and kissed her child on the cheek. “Why are you awake?” 

“I sleep with you.” Abigail said leaning her head on her mom's shoulder. Josephine pulled her closer to her chest taking in her scent. 

“Okay.” Josephine whispered back and stood up. “We can talk tomorrow mom.” Josephine told her mother. Her mother nodded and watched them walk away from the kitchen. 

Josephine walked in her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She just laid Abigail in the bed when she opened her eyes. 

“Daddy home?” Abigail asked. Josephine swallowed a lump in her throat as she gazed down at her daughter. 

“No, baby. Remember we talked about Daddy being in the stars now?” Josephine whispered quietly. Abigail nodded her head. 

“Livia too?” She asked. Josephine smiled softly nodding her head. 

“Yes. Livia too.” Josephine told her. 

Abigail stared up at her mother trying to understand exactly what it means to go in the stars. How did they get there? Why did they go there? Are they ever coming back? Abigail wanted to ask those questions, but ever since Daddy and Olivia have been gone, Abigail has noticed Mommy has been sad. And Abigail doesn’t like that Mommy is always sad. 

Josephine gazed down at her daughter silently hoping that her questions were done. Although she is quiet, Abigail has always been smart for her age. Abigail learns through observations and watching those around her. She’s also a couple months away from the age of three, so it’s only normal for her curiosity to grow. Josephine sighed as her daughter’s eyes finally closed shut, giving in to her sleep. Josephine turned away from her daughter as a couple tears fell from her face. She stood up and walked into the bathroom. 

Shutting the door behind her, Josephine slid down until she was sitting on the floor. Josephine wondered exactly when she should explain the topic of death to her. When did her mom give her the talk? Josephine tried to think back to having a conversation, but she couldn’t. She just grew up knowing her father had passed. Josephine put her face in her hands as per usual her thoughts drifted over to the passing of her two loved ones. But instead of focusing on Lucas, her mind was occupied on her baby girl. 

Olivia. 

Josephine didn't want to think about her. She refused to think about Olivia in any form of being dead. It was too much to handle for her heart and mind. Josephine remembered holding Olivia, right after delivery. Olivia was placed on her chest, her eyes were squinted shut, and Josephine cried at her wailing. She was so beautiful. Josephine felt the connection with her first born all throughout her pregnancy, but having that chest to chest connection, sealed everything. She now understood what it felt to be a mom and Josephine loved the emotional connection already. Josephine remembered looking to her right and seeing Lucas there as well. He was gazing down and Olivia with so much love and pride in his eyes. Josephine also smiled at the small tear that fell down his face. That moment lasted for two minutes before Abigail decided to make her appearance. 

Josephine smiled at the memory. It was her favorite memory. One she never wanted to forget. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like!  
> tumblr:@diamondjordan


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends were put on this earth to support you, no matter how deep in the dark you really are. 
> 
> If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see  
> I'll be the light to guide you  
> -Bruno Mars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed last chapter! This one isn't as sad as the last two. Well I think so! Let me know what you think!

Bobby sighed as he placed one of the last heavy boxes on the ground. Finally. They were finished. Gary came up behind him slamming the last box on the floor. Gary huffed his breath before falling face first on the floor. Bobby chuckled shaking his head. 

“Oh come on, Gaz. Put those biceps to use. I thought you'd be great at this." Bobby joked. Gary lifted his face from the floor and rolled his eyes at Bobby. 

"You've got some nerve. Why couldn't you have an elevator, instead of all those stairs?" Gary complained. 

"It was two flights of stairs, Gary. Stop complaining and get up. The quicker we finish the better." Bobby said before checking his phone. Gary peered his eyes at Bobby. That's like the fifteenth time Bobby checked his phone within the two hours of them moving boxes. Gary raised his eyebrows as he watched Bobby's face become extremely serious as he swiped his fingers across the screen. 

"Do tell who the lucky lady is, Bobby." Gary voiced. Bobby rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket. 

"There is no lucky girl, it's just Chelsea." Bobby told him before walking over to the fridge. Bobby pulled out two beers and handed on to Gary, who finally decided to get up from the floor. 

"Just Chelsea? How is she by the way?" Gary asked sitting on one of the heavier boxes. Bobby sat on a box across from him as he twisted his beer open. 

"From what she tells me, she's doing good. She's the usual Chelsea." Bobby shrugged his shoulders. 

"Chelsea was always delightful." Gary said before taking a drink. "How is she doing now that she lives with, Josephine?" 

Bobby felt his chest tighten at the mention of Josephine. The last time he saw her was about a month ago at the funeral. Since then, he's been keeping in contact with Chelsea, getting regular updates on his deeply saddened friend. Bobby has also made sure to send Josephine a text every couple day, letting her know that he's been thinking about her and hopes all is well. It wasn't very often he'd get a reply from Josephine, but it did make him happy when he'd get the usual "thank you. You too." 

“Chelsea says she's hanging in there.” Bobby shared. 

“I just feel so bad for her. I couldn’t imagine being in her shoes.” Gary sighed shaking his head. 

“Neither can I. I was actually going to head over there later today. You want to join?” Bobby asked. Gary nodded looking around at all the boxes. 

“Can we go now? I don’t feel like unpacking.” Gary complained. Bobby chuckled and sent a quick text to Chelsea, letting her know they were on the way over. Once he got the okay by Chelsea, Bobby called a taxi and they were on the way. 

Gary had decided he didn’t want to enter empty handed, so they stopped by a nearby convenience store and picked up some flowers and snacks that they knew Josephine liked to eat. 

“Do you think she’ll be happy to see us?” Gary asked as Bobby rang the doorbell. 

“I guess we just have to wait and see.” Bobby answered before Chelsea opened the door. Bobby and Gary both laughed as Chelsea squealed upon their arrival. 

“I am so glad you guys are here! It’s so nice to see you!” Chelsea squeezed both of the boys in tight hugs. “And how sweet of you to bring me flowers, Gary!” She beamed taking the bouquet out of Gary’s hands. 

“Actually-” 

“They will look so nice this vase I found-“Chelsea’s voice trailed off as she turned around and walked down the hallway. Bobby and Gary looked at each other with raised eyebrows. 

“I see she is still the same.” Gary laughed before walking in the house. Bobby chuckled following him inside. He shut the door behind him and immediately, he was hit with a heavy atmosphere. 

It wasn’t hot outside, but inside it felt like a heat wave. The feeling was intense and it raised Bobby’s anxiety a little. It was a sad and depressing feeling. Bobby didn’t like it. It was missing that happy and joyful energy that it used to have before..the passing. 

As he followed Gary to the kitchen, he noticed that pictures, that were hanging the last time he was here, were gone. The only pictures he saw, were of Abigail and Josephine, and others faces spread around the house. But none of Lucas or Olivia. He wondered if that was Josephine’s doing. Where was she anyway? 

Bobby’s ears could hear Gary and Chelsea speaking in the kitchen, but he continued looking at the pictures on the wall. There was one photo, where someone’s face was taped with paper over in the middle. On the left, was a smiling Josephine, and on the right was a face he didn’t recognize. Bobby was more than positive Lucas was in the middle. 

Bobby gazed at the picture frame beside it and smiled when he saw a photo of Josephine and Abigail. He was happy to see it because he took this photo. It’s was Abigail's and Olivia's first birthday party and somehow, Bobby was in charge of taking photos. He probably took over a thousand pictures that day, but he had fun doing it. 

In the photo Josephine was feeding Abigail some cake. Abigail, was sitting in her high chair, smiling at her mom. It was a happy moment that Bobby made sure to capture. And it seems like Josephine really loved it too. Bobby continued gazing at other photos and wondered where on earth the two girls in the photo were currently hiding. Abigail wasn’t a loud child, but she usually ran to Bobby when she heard his voice. Maybe she was napping? Bobby thought. And Josephine, well Bobby would have to ask Chelsea, who was currently making tea for everyone in the kitchen. 

Bobby left her hallway and walked in the kitchen where Gary was chewing on some crisps. Chelsea was filling three cups with hot water when she looked to find Bobby finally joining them in the kitchen. 

“I made you a cuppa.” Chelsea smiled warmly. Bobby thanked her before taking his place next to Gary. 

“So, how are you doing?” Bobby asked the short blonde. 

“I’m doing good! I’m honestly loving it here. It’s much quieter than the city.” Chelsea replied. 

“Yeah they picked a nice suburb.” Gary agreed. 

“Bobby, how was the move? Everything, go okay?” Chelsea asked taking a sip of her tea. 

“We finished putting all the boxes inside before we came over.” Bobby smirked nodded his head over at Gary. “This guy isn’t as strong as he wants us all to believe.” Chelsea giggled as Bobby and Gary began to bicker. All of a sudden Chelsea heard the front door open and the voices of Josephine and Abigail filled the air. 

"Alright, since you did so well at the dentist this morning you get to have one scoop of ice cream." Bobby's ears instantly perked at the sound of Josephine's voice. He smiled on hearing Abigail's follow along with the sound of her feet running towards the kitchen. Bobby turned in his chair to see Abigail running in the kitchen. Bobby smiled as she noticed him, her eyes widening before moving to Gary. Gary and Bobby intensely glanced at one another before looking back at Abigail. This is the moment of truth. The moment where Abigail will always choose who she's most excited to see. Chelsea stood across the counter trying to hold back her laughter. This was a common challenge between Gary and Bobby. Both boys wanted to be the best and favorite uncle. But we all know who the best is. 

"Uncle Bobby!" Bobby smiled with relief as he was still crowned the favorite. 

"You have got to be kidding me?" Gary grumbled before chomping down on a crisp. 

"Abi!" Bobby yelled before getting out of his chair as Abigail ran to him. Bobby picked her up and squeezed her into a hug. Bobby chuckled as Abigail kissed his cheek before squirming to get down. Abigail smiled at her uncle Gary as she walked over to his chair. Bobby chuckled inside knowing that Gary will hold second place to a war that had created two years ago. It's a battle that Bobby has held since the girls were just born, something that Bobby actually found pride in. 

"I didn't know you guys were coming over." Bobby looked towards the sound of Josephine's voice as she walked into the kitchen. Immediately, Bobby noticed several changes in her appearance. Her dark brown eyes that usually held a sparkle in them, now looked cloudy. Despite the smile Josephine wore, Bobby could see the tightness behind it. Her smile didn't reach her eyes like it used to. He was aware of the sadness through her fake expression of being excited to see them. He could see how tired and worn out she was. She was hiding behind a facade. And Bobby could see right through it. 

Josephine wanted to be happy that Gary and Bobby were visiting. She hasn't seen them both since the funeral and she can admit, finding them in her kitchen was a surprise. But truthfully, she was looking forward to having a moment alone. Which is all she wants. To be alone. Something she can only find at night time, when Abigail is sound asleep and Chelsea is done hovering over her for the day. Now it looks like Josephine will have to entertain for a while. Them being here just meant more time putting on a fake smile, she desperately wanted to slap off her face. She was tired. And she ached for a moment alone to herself. But it would just have to wait. 

Josephine fully joined everyone in the kitchen as walked around the counter to stand next to Chelsea. Chelsea gave her a smile before pushing a cup of tea towards her. Josephine smiled back before taking the mug and giving her full attention to Bobby. 

"We thought we'd surprise you." Bobby replied giving her a soft smile. 

"Well it's a nice surprise. Abigail is happy to see you both." Josephine nodded to her daughter who was currently playing with one of Bobby's dreads. 

"Yeah, I'm looking forward for babysitting!" Bobby beamed causing Josephine to smile. Gary snorted next to him. 

"You babysit? Now that's something I'd love to see." Gary said. 

"You think I can't babysit or something?" Bobby challenged glaring at Gary. 

"Mate-" Just as quick as the conversation started Josephine's smile slowly wiped off her face as she lost focus in the conversation. Her eyes laid on Abigail, who was still innocently playing with the end of Bobby's dreads, and Josephine felt her chest tighten at the sight. She couldn't take her eyes of it. It was something she's seen before a thousand times. It's happened over the course of all get together, but now there was one huge piece missing in front of her. Abigail was sitting on Bobby's right knee and when Josephine moved her eyes to the left, all she found was an empty space. That wasn't right. Something is missing here. 

She felt the air around her increase in temperature and she could feel the sweat forming around her palms. It wasn't until Abigail turned her face towards Josephine and smiled, is where Josephine knew she had to get out of the kitchen immediately. Taking a calming deep breath, Josephine excused herself from the kitchen. She quickly made her way upstairs and to her bedroom, where she quietly shut the door behind her. Josephine took a couple breaths before she slid to her knees. She closed her eyes, but all she could see were the child dark brown eyes that haunted her. Josephine felt the usual tears fill her eyes before wiping her eyes, not allowing the tears she desperately needed to release fall. 

Bobby stared at the empty space Josephine once occupied. The way she just abruptly left the scene worried Bobby to no end. He wondered what happened that made her walk away like that. His eyes met with Chelsea and she gave him a tight smile nodding her head. 

"Hey Abi, Uncle Gary promised me earlier that he’d play tea with you. Would you like that?” Chelsea smiled. Abigail's eyes widened as she gasped giving her gaze to Gary. Gary opened his mouth in shock as he stared at Chelsea in horror. 

"Now wait a minute-" Gary was cut off by Bobby placing Abigail in his lap. 

"Let's go Uncle Gary. Bunny needs tea." Abigail smiled up sweetly at him. Gary stared at Abigail as she smiled back at him. He wanted to tell her no. But Abigail was too sweet. Gary sighed throwing the small child over his shoulder. 

"Alright, show me where this tea is." Gary voiced as Abigail squealed over his shoulder. Bobby and Chelsea giggled as they left the kitchen. Chelsea sipped on her tea before licking her lips and settling her gaze on Bobby. 

Chelsea really appreciated how much Bobby cared about Josephine. Bobby was always texting and asking about her. Chelsea would tell him as much as she could through text messages. Josephine and Bobby were really good friends during their time on Love Island. Bobby was always making her laugh and having her participate in pranking Lucas sometimes. They got on well on and off the camera. 

Chelsea wasn't sure, but she was almost positive Bobby had a small crush on Josephine. But things were so platonic between the two of them, that she never bothered asking. She didn't want to make things awkward for him. So, she kept her questions to herself. Chelsea knew Bobby could see right through her act of being normal a couple minutes ago. She knew he would notice. And her running off upstairs alarmed Bobby. Chelsea was glad he was here. So now he could see first-hand exactly what's going on with their dear friend Josephine. 

"So, what's going on?" Bobby asked her. Chelsea took a deep breath before sharing what's been going on for the past month. 

Chelsea explained that when she moved in Josephine was basically a zombie. Chelsea had to have Josephine's mother stay for an extra two weeks to help with Abigail. Josephine didn't eat. She only came down to play with Abigail for a while before shutting herself back in her room. She just laid in bed all day and zoned out. And at night is where her cries would move through the walls. Sometimes, not all the time, Josephine would allow Chelsea to hold her. Sometimes, not all the time, Josephine would eat something Chelsea or her mother cooked. But her meals were mostly just forgotten on the dresser. 

Chelsea was worried that she was never going to bounce back from this mindset she was in. But one day Chelsea woke up to find Josephine awake and drinking coffee at the table. Breakfast was already made and the table was set. Chelsea had sat with her and for a moment breakfast was awkward. But it was Josephine who broke the silence. 

_"I came down late last night and I realized we didn't have any more ice cream. And then I realized we didn't have much food in the fridge. So, I went to the_ _twenty-four-hour_ _shopping center and filled the kitchen."_

_"I would have gone-" Chelsea started to say, but Josephine shook her head._

_"No, I needed to do that. While I was out there, I felt like a piece of normality came back into my life." Josephine interrupted. "I have to get back to normal." Josephine looked at Chelsea with a seriousness in her eye. Chelsea smiled at Josephine before grabbing one of her hands._

_"I'll be here to help you." Chelsea whispered. Josephine smiled at her dearest friend before standing up from the table and giving Chelsea a hug._

"So ever since that night, she's been getting out of bed. She's more present with Abigail. She takes morning walks before Abigail wakes up and I think it helps clears her head a little bit." Chelsea told Bobby. 

"Is she eating?" Bobby asked. Chelsea shook her head. 

"Barley. She'll take a couple bites, but that's it. I think it's mostly to get Abigail to eat her food. Otherwise.." Chelsea trailed off. ""She won't really talk to me. I try to push a conversation on Lucas, and she doesn't really respond. She's still crying at night too. Bobby, I'm not a therapist, but sometimes-" Chelsea stopped talking biting her lip. 

"What? What is it?" Bobby asked. 

"I was doing some research on it a couple days ago. Grief can get complicated. I wanted to know how someone can grieve two loses at once. And well I think that maybe, Josephine has only been grieving Lucas this whole month. I don't think she's necessarily processed Olivia." Bobby leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed as Chelsea continued. "I don't think she's anywhere near done grieving Lucas, but I also think she's passed that denial phase. I think she's okay knowing that he's gone. Which might explain her being able to do the basic norm." 

"That might be it. But what about Olivia? You said you don't think she's processed it?" Chelsea nodded. 

"Whenever anyone mentions or even attempts to mention Olivia with her, she completely shuts down the conversation. Her mom and I have tried, but she ends up shutting us out. She gets really upset. She's in a pretty strong denial stage with Olivia and I'm worried that overtime she'll self-destruct again." Chelsea admitted. 

"We can't let that happen." Bobby immediately said. "I won't let that happen. I'll come over every day if I have to." 

"Bobby, you can't be here every day. I thought you were going to get started on opening your bakery?" 

"Well, it looks like that will just have to wait. I can't go on normally when one of my good friends is crashing. Especially, not Josephine." Mind made up, Bobby stood out of chair, gulping down the rest of his tea. "I just have to finish unpacking everything. Once that is done, I'll be over." Bobby smiled. “First I got to save Gary from this tea party.” 

Chelsea watched Bobby disappear from the kitchen flabbergasted. But soon a small smile appeared on her face. If anyone were to get Josephine through this difficult time, it would be Bobby. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked!  
> tumblr: @diamondjordan


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how hard it might be, always have the difficult conversations with your friends.
> 
> You are not alone  
> I am here with you  
> -Michael Jackson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed last chapter! The first couple chapters started off a little bit slow between Bobby and Jospehine, but they will continue to pick up.  
> This is my first slow burn story, so we will get through this together!

Josephine and Chelsea were sitting outside on the back patio. It was a little after eight on a Tuesday morning and they were enjoying some morning coffee. Josephine enjoyed the silence the morning brought. The chirping birds no longer bothered her. If anything, she appreciated them more now. Abigail was still sleeping and right now Josephine just wanted to enjoy the fresh air. Her eyes focused on some butterflies flying around the lawn. Josephine let out a small sigh. If this was a month ago Josephine would have wished she was a butterfly so that she could fly away. There was a part of her that still wanted to fly off and ignore everything around her, but now Josephine seemed okay. 

Josephine had once thought she was never going to be able to wake up in the morning and be okay. Every day was a reminder that a piece of her would be missing. It haunted her. Broke her. She missed Lucas so much some nights. It pained her. Her bones ached. She felt like she was drowning each night without having a chance to come up for air. She was lost. So, lost. And she was fine with it. At first. It wasn't until one night where she was roaming the hallway, when Josephine heard crying coming from Abigail's room. Josephine walked in her room to find that Josephine was having a nightmare. As she soothed her daughter the faint whisper of "daddy" was released from her lips. 

It was that moment where Josephine knew she had to get better. For her daughter, who clearly needed her. Maybe telling Abigail "Daddy is in the stars" just isn't enough anymore. Josephine promised herself that her zombie mode was over. Once Abigail was back asleep, Josephine went downstairs for some ice cream and found that there was none in the freezer. She looked around and noticed how little food they had. She looked around the kitchen and her eyes focused on the giant calendar on the wall. September still hung on the wall. That didn't seem quite right to her. Josephine walked back upstairs to her room, where she threw covers off the bed, opened and closed drawers in search of her phone. 

Josephine found her phone in the crack between the wall and headboard. She gasped as she looked at the date. October 3rd it read. It's been an entire month already. Josephine sat on her bed in shock. She locked herself in this room for an entire month. She knew now that she needed to do something with her life. And they only thing she could think to do was go grocery shopping. So, Josephine grabbed her car keys and left. And when she got back home, she tore down the calendar and switched the date to October. Josephine took a deep breath as she realized, this was her new beginning. 

So, Josephine started making a daily routine of taking walks by herself in the morning, making sure she gets a lot of alone time before Abigail wakes up and she officially has to start her day. She's learning to take her mourning one day at a time. But even one day feels like an eternity in her shoes. It's never ending. Especially, when she loses her focus and her thoughts wander over to her deceased daughter. But only for a moment. Before Josephine would distract her mind with something else. For the thought of even processing her daughter seemed like a dark road she didn't want to encounter. Josephine was strong. But not strong enough. Josephine heard the doorbell ring behind her and she looked at Chelsea with raised eyebrows. 

"Who do you think that is?" Josephine asked. Chelsea looked at the time on her phone. 

"Well with it being this early on a Saturday, I think a Mr. McKenzie is bored at his place." Chelsea giggled. Josephine let out a small chuckle as well while Chelsea left to go get the door. When she heard the door close behind her, Josephine let out a sigh of relief. The fake smile that she wore all morning was quickly wiped off and replaced with a frown. 

Bobby placed a box of cupcakes on the kitchen counter. He made a special cupcake for everyone here and couldn't wait for everyone to enjoy them. Now that Gary has gone back home, he can wake up like he wants. And the first thing he wanted to do this morning, before he headed over Josephine's was bake. So, he woke up early and started making some fresh new treats. He then quickly hopped in a taxi and made his way over to his friend's house. 

"Boy oh boy. I can't wait to dig into one of those. Please, tell me you made my favorite?" Chelsea gushed as she jumped up and down. Bobby laughed before opening the box. He pulled out a prosecco cupcake with strawberry buttercream. Chelsea squealed taking away her tasty treat. 

"Thank you, Bobby! It's so pretty!" Chelsea beamed placing her cupcake on a plate before starting a mini photo shoot with her phone. 

"Where is Josephine? Is she awake?" Bobby asked eyeing her cupcake. 

"She is sitting out back. You should bring her, her cupcake. She seems to be in a good mood this morning." Chelsea told him. Bobby grabbed two plates from the cabinet and places a cupcake in each one. He grabbed each plate and headed out back. He opened the door to find Josephine sitting by herself in one of the chairs by the patio table. She looked at the sound of the door closing behind him, a small smile forming around her lips. 

"Good morning, Bobby." Josephine greeted. 

"Hey, how are you doing this morning?" Bobby asked her as placed the plates on the table. He leaned down giving Josephine a quick hug before sitting next to her. 

"I'm doing alright." Josephine replied eyeing the treat in front of her before turning her attention back on Bobby. 

"Alright, enough to enjoy a freshly nicely baked cupcake made by yours truly?" Bobby asked wiggling his eyebrows. Josephine giggled and Bobby frowned inside knowing how fake that giggle was. 

"Well I would be rude to not enjoy this fresh strawberry filled cream cupcake." Josephine picked up her cupcake and took one small bite. Her taste buds floored in delight as she tasted the moist and creamy cupcake. Bobby knew how to make the best treats. She licked her lips and swallowed and for a little bit she felt good eating her treat. 

"Jesus, Bobby how do you make such perfection?" Josephine asked taking another bite. Bobby grinned. Josephine's sweet tooth craving always made him happy. Now that he lived closer, he was probably going to bring treats all the time. 

"A magician never tells his secrets." Bobby replied wiggling his fingers mysteriously. Josephine giggled shaking her head at him. She placed her half-eaten cupcake back on her plate before giving Bobby a smile. Bobby smiles back before looking around the backyard. Josephine chuckled inside as she realized how awkward Bobby was making this. She watched him drum his fingers on his knees as she tried to look everywhere but at her. 

“Bobby. It’s alright. You can ask me.” Josephine told him. She gave him a smile as his eyes trailed back to hers. She could see some relief in his eyes once she calmed his nerves a little bit. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want-“ 

“No matter what, I’ll end up getting upset a little. It’s a part of grieving. So, just ask please?” Bobby bit his lip before taking a deep breath. 

“I just-I just want to know how you are doing is all.” Bobby admits. Josephine sighed and turned her eyes away from Bobby to stare at the sky. 

“I’m doing okay. Better than a month ago." 

"That's good." Bobby replied moving his chair closer to hers so that he could speak to her more privately. There wasn't anyone around so he wasn't worried about anyone hearing his conversation, he just felt like the distance between them wasn't settling for the conversation he was preparing to have. Bobby had packed a packet of tissue's in his back pocket just in case this conversation went horrible, which no matter what, it was. But he wanted Josephine to know he wasn't in Glasgow anymore and that he was here. And if she needed anything, Bobby would be with her to get past it. 

"But I guess I'm looking for a more honest answer from you." Bobby saw her shoulders tense and her facial muscles tense under his gaze. Bobby knew she didn't want to have this conversation with him or anyone, but from what he's heard from Chelsea, and what he's observed so far, Josephine has closed out those close to her. Bobby knew it was wrong. Chelsea taught him that after the funeral when they went around sharing their favorite memories of each other. And he wanted to do that with Josephine this morning. 

"What-" 

"Josephine, I can see through you, you know?" Bobby interrupted her. "I can see through this fake persona your giving out and I won't fall for it. Not when you seem so sad." Bobby watched as Josephine's jaw ticked as she stared straight ahead away from him. 

"Back during the funeral, Chelsea mentioned that when you lose someone the best thing to do is share a favorite memory about them. So, I'm going to share you mine and then I want you to share yours." Bobby told her waiting for a nod from Josephine before he started. 

"One of my all-time favorite memories of Lucas is last year, a day before Saint Patrick's Day. It was our first boys on tour. Lucas wasn't entirely in the spirit of the leprechaun and I didn't want to him to miss out on getting some gold for being so grumpy. So, I decided to switch his shampoo for green dye." Bobby retold this story to everyone. He had plans to share the story during the wedding and have the picture shown on a backdrop. Bobby felt his lips twitch into a smile as he tried to hold back his laughter. 

"I'll never forget the way he screamed when he looked in the mirror." Bobby chuckled which soon turned into laughter. Josephine even let out a couple chuckles too. "BOBBBY! He screamed. He chased me around up and down the hotel with nothing on, but a towel. His hair was neon green!" Bobby started laughing. "I wish you were there, Josephine. He slipped on the tile and everything." Bobby laughed. Bobby's was contagious because it made Josephine push out a couple giggles of her own. 

"I remember him coming home with his new look. The girls stared at him like he was a totally different person." Josephine giggled. Bobby was more than pleased to hear an honest chuckle from Josephine. It wasn't a full chuckle, but it was enough for him to know that he might just be getting through to her. 

"That's a nice laugh. Seems more real." Bobby mentioned to her. Josephine glanced at Bobby giving him a small smile. 

“Alright, now tell me. What’s your favorite memory of Lucas?” Bobby asked her. Josephine stared at Bobby before taking a deep breath. 

_Josephine was pacing back and forth in the bedroom she shared with Lucas. She was going through many emotions at once and she wasn't sure how Lucas would react. She didn't know whether to be happy, sad, excited, or scared. But one thing she did know, that she was completely nervous and was dreading this moment. This is something that they've talked about a couple times, but this was supposed to happen further down the line, not in a year. She wasn't sure if she was ready for this giant step, but there was nothing she could do now. It happened. What's done is done and there is no going back._

_Josephine_ _jumped when she heard the door open and close from downstairs. Lucas was home. Time to have this talk. Josephine took a deep breath before she left the bedroom to meet Lucas. She walked downstairs to find him sitting at the kitchen table. It was a little after eight. Today was a longer shift today. He's been working late the past couple days and Josephine could see the long hours were becoming a bit stressful. She just hoped her news wouldn't add on to that stress._

_"Hey babe." Josephine smiled as she joined him in the kitchen. Lucas looked up, putting his phone down and giving Josephine a smile._

_"Hey, how was your day?" Lucas asked her. Josephine smiled at him and shrugged._

_"Oh, you know. A normal day at the studio. I have to tell you something." Josephine said sitting down next to him. "But first I need you to close your eyes."_

_"What for?" Lucas eyed her skeptically. Josephine laughed rolling her eyes._

_"Bobby, has nothing to do with this. Just close your eyes." Josephine rushed._

_"Alright, but nothing better slide down my head." Lucas replied closing his eyes._

_"Alright, now hold out your hand." Josephine watched Lucas follow her directions before she pulled the small stick from her back pocket. She bit her lip as she gazed down at the pregnancy test, that confirmed she was pregnant an hour ago. All the emotions cam full force and she tried her best to hold them back before placing the test in his hand._

_"Okay, open your eyes." Josephine softly spoke. Josephine bit her lip as she watched Lucas's eyes focus on his palm. His eyes widened and for a moment Josephine thought he stopped breathing. She looked between him and the test wondering if this type of reaction was normal. What was a normal reaction to finding out your girlfriend was pregnant? Josephine didn't know. This would be her first time. But she was sure Lucas was turning purple. Josephine was about to yell his name, when suddenly he hopped out of his chair screaming. Josephine jumped back in her chair as she watched Lucas scream and jump for joy._

_"I can't believe this Josie! We're going to be parents!" Lucas yelled pacing back and forth in excitement. "Oh my god, you have a baby inside you! We have to start thinking of names, and oh my god! We have so many people to call!" A wide smile formed on Josephine's face as she watched Lucas ecstatically belt out his happiness. I guess she had nothing to worry about after all._

Josephine found herself crying into Bobby's shoulder as she recalled that memory. Bobby wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a hug. His chest ached at the sound her sobs. Now he felt a little bad for pushing this conversation, but he had no choice. Josephine needed to talk and if she wasn't going to talk to Chelsea, then he was going to try and get her to talk to him. 

Bobby waned to Josephine to understand that she isn't alone in this and that she has friends who care deeply about her. She doesn't have to grieve in silence. When Josephine pulled away, Bobby reached in his back pocket for the small package of tissues, handing a couple to Josephine for her to wipe her eyes. His chest ached at seeing her cry, but he knew this will help her at the end of the day. 

"We were so happy then, Bobby. I've never seen him that happy since winning the show." Josephine's voice cracked. "He made me promise not to tell anyone, but he fainted at the hospital when we found out we were having twins." Josephine laughed a little bit which made Bobby smile. Josephine wiped her eyes before looking at Bobby and giving him a sad smile. 

"I guess the saying of "you really don't know what you have until it's gone" is truer than I thought it would be." Josephine sniffed pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. "I just wish it wasn't so painfully true." Bobby watched her face fall and he reached over grabbing one of her hands. "I just wish he were here, Bobby." Josephine cried. 

"Hey, it's going to be alright.” Bobby told her. “I’m glad your speaking about it, instead of holding it in.” Bobby replies squeezing her hand. 

“And remember you can always talk to me about anything. I don’t shy away from a lot of things. So, if you need to talk, I’m always around.” Bobby told her. Josephine squeezed his hand and smiled at him. 

“Chelsea is also a bedroom away I hear; you could talk to her as well. We both really care about you and we just want to make sure you’re okay.” Bobby explained. Josephine nodded her head and sniffed. 

“Thank you.” Josephine told him. Bobby smiled giving her a nod and cleared his throat. 

“There is also something else I want to talk to you about.” Bobby reached behind him pulling out a pamphlet out of his back pocket. 

Bobby silently handed the piece of paper to Josephine trying to gauge her reaction. Josephine stared at the pamphlet Bobby handed to her and chills fell through her spine. Once again, ever since the funeral, Josephine felt the walls close in around her. Her heartbeat quickened and suddenly it was hard for her to breath. 

**Supporting Mothers with** **Grief Counseling**

“I know talking about Olivia is much harder for you. And I won’t force you to have that conversation. But I do think you should talk to someone and if it’s not Chelsea or I, then it needs to be a professional.” Bobby told her. 

Josephine stared at the front cover and saw there was a card attached to the top. Dr. Kristine was her name and from her picture she looked to be a couple years older than Josephine. Josephine closed her eyes wanting to crumple up this piece of paper and stomp on it. But deep down she knew Bobby was just trying to help and she wouldn’t be rude. She took a deep breath and calmed her breathing before placing the pamphlet in her lap. 

“Thank you, Bobby.” Josephine told him. Bobby smiled at her, giving her hand one more gentle squeeze. 

"Come on, let's go inside. And don't forget about the rest of your cupcake. I made it with happiness." Josephine chuckled before she followed Bobby inside. They walked inside to find Abigail sitting at the large counter, still in her pink pajamas from last night. Chelsea was pouring her some milk as Abigail used her fork to eat eggs. 

“Look who is awake.” Josephine announced. Abigail turned her head around at the sound of her mother’s voice. Josephine felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of her daughter’s smile. Something, she thought she’d be used to by now, but it always seems to amaze her. Abigail was cutie pie. She was a complete mixture of Lucas and Josephine. She had Josephine’s full cheeks and nose, while she carried Lucas’s matching brown eyes and lips. She had her mother’s curly hair that fell down to just below her shoulders with a complexion that she took over from her father. 

Josephine took a couple more space inside and she giggled when Abigail’s smile widened at the sight of Bobby behind her. Josephine just kissed her daughter on the head when her phone rang. Excusing herself, Josephine left the kitchen. 

Chelsea watched her go before turning to Bobby with raised eyebrows. Bobby took a seat next to Abigail, giving her a smile before, turning back to Chelsea. 

“Everything is good.” Bobby simply told her smiling. “We had a good talk.” Chelsea smiled in relief satisfied with that answer. 

“Good.” Chelsea said before turning back to the stove. Bobby looked over at Abigail, just in time as she spilled milk all over her lap. She gasped as she gazed at how now soaked pajama clothing. 

“Uh-oh!” Abigail spoke. Bobby chuckled and started helping Chelsea clean up the spilled milk. 

“Alright Abi. Let’s go- oh shoot.” Chelsea pulled out her phone to find her boss was calling her. Chelsea bit her lip before looking to her small niece and her phone. 

“I can get her cleaned.” Bobby offered. 

“Are you sure?” Chelsea asked already leaving the kitchen. Bobby chuckled to himself as he realized she didn’t even wait for his reply. He turned towards the small child sitting beside him, who was looking back at him. 

“Uncle Bobby, I need new clothes or I get all sticky.” 

“What? You don’t like being sticky?” Bobby teased standing up to help her down from the chair. 

“No, that’s icky Uncle Bobby.” Abigail giggled as she darted out of the kitchen. Bobby always found it amusing how small children are. Her little legs moved so quick, but by Bobby just walking he was able to keep up with her. 

“Alright, now what’s the rule about the stairs?” Bobby asked Abigail once they reached the bottom of the stairs. 

“Always hold railing and go one time!” Abigail was proud that she remembered the ruled. As she slowly walked up the stairs, she thought back to that time when Livia fell down the stairs. Mommy and Daddy were super upset. So, now Abigail knows she can’t go up or down the stairs without an adult. 

“Smart girl. Alright, now remind me which one is your room?” Bobby asked her. 

“I change. You stay here!” Abigail told him before running to her room on the left of the stairs and slamming the door behind her. Bobby scratched his head trying to decide of he should go and follow her, but then he remembered how independent Abigail has always been. At two and a half she was already potty trained and Bobby remembered hearing a conversation about Abigail and Olivia both wanting to dress themselves, and how much of a fight they would give Josephine in the mornings about it. Now she lets them do everything. Bobby wondered how she did it. 

Bobby looked towards the right of the stairs and frowned. Behind that door was Olivia's room. He could tell by the huge blue butterfly on the door. His heart felt heavy knowing that her presence was no longer here. Olivia took after Lucas. She was loud, proud and mischievous. Bobby loved that about her. Lucas did too. Olivia gave Josephine more heart attacks with her chaotic energy and random bruises. Olivia liked to play rough and was daring. Bobby adored that about her. Bobby would describe her as a proud extrovert. He had one day hoped to have nerf gun fight with her as she got older, but that won't happen anymore. 

Bobby then looked back at Abigail’s door. Her door was the same, but it had a pink butterfly on it. Abigail was the complete opposite of her sister. Bobby noticed Abigail was quiet and would rather watch the action rather than be a part of it. Abigail had some curiosity, and from Bobby’s observations, she always seemed to think about her actions before following them. Abigail required lots of reassurance when it comes to something new. Something Olivia lacked. Abigail was a true introvert at heart. Bobby completely cherished it. 

“Uncle Bobby” Bobby smiled at Abigail as she opened her bedroom door with her head peeking out. 

“What’s up?” Bobby asked 

“Can you ask mommy for underwear?” Abigail smiled sweetly at him. Bobby chuckled and nodded his head. 

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” Bobby said before the door slammed closed. Bobby shook his head wondering why children always slam the door. He walked over to Josephine’s bedroom further down the hall and was about to knock when he heard her voice on the phone. 

“I would appreciate it, if you didn’t call this number again.” Josephine’s voice broke through the door making Bobby frown. Her tone was serious with a hint of anger behind it. Something Bobby has never heard before. 

“No, I don’t care. We have nothing to talk about. Stop calling me.” Who was she talking to? Bobby wondered. 

“I have told you once and I will tell you again. Leave me alone.” Bobby head the slam of a phone before soft cries. Now he didn’t want to disturb her. Bobby sighed before he knocked on the door. He heard some shuffling before Josephine's voice rang through the door. 

“Yes?” Bobby wondered who she was talking to that made her so upset. 

“It’s Bobby, Abigail says she needs underwear.” Bobby told her. 

“Shit, I forgot about the laundry.” Bobby heard. “Um, I’ll be there in just a minute.” Bobby walked away from her bedroom wondering a lot of things, but focusing around that phone call he heard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> tumblr: @diamondjordan


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's strong, but she's also exhausted. 
> 
> I am a Superwoman  
> Yes I am  
> Yes she is  
> Even when I'm a mess  
> I still put on a vest  
> With an S on my chest  
> Oh yes  
> I'm a Superwoman  
> -Alicia Keys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! I got super busy with school and work. But I'm from school for a couple weeks, so in the meantime, I'll be writing a lot more chapter's ahead of time.  
> To be honest with myself, I'm not quite feeling this chapter for some reason. I guess it's considered to be more of a filler chapter? I don't know.  
> But feel free to hit me up on tumblr or leave a comment below.  
> Thanks so much!
> 
> Also, special shoutout to my friend lina1dlover on tumblr! Thank you for giving me inspiration and hindsight on this chapter! I love you so much!

Josephine lied awake that night wanting to sleep, but sleep was running from her. No matter how long she closed her eyes or switched positions to get comfortable, sleep was inevitable for her tonight. For tonight, the only thing her mind wanted to do was think. And tonight, her brain focused on Lucas. It revolved around him. After her talk with Bobby this morning, she just couldn't stop thinking about her late fiancé. Her mind was focused on him. She thought about on how nights like these, where she tossed and turned from letting her mind circle around her thoughts, how Lucas was able to put her to sleep. 

Josephine turned over and gazed at the empty spot beside her. Josephine could still see his sleeping frame next to her. Her mind drifted back to the first time she slept with him back in the villa. He'd be positioned on his stomach with his black hair disheveled, but his face was relaxed and calm. He would lay with one arm underneath his pillow and his other draped across her waist. To the villa they looked like a happy couple. And they slept like that for a while. After they moved in together the cuddling continued, and on nights like tonight, Lucas was always there to help. He'd pull her back to his stomach and whisper _"Just close your eyes while I rub your belly."_ Pretty soon Josephine would be asleep in minutes. Josephine instinctively mimicked the slow circular motion Lucas used to do. Back at a time when their relationship was at an all-time high. 

She wondered what things would be like if he were here tonight. Would they be happy sleeping next to each other? Or would they sleep with their backs to each other in anger and disappointment? She had to admit, two months ago she wouldn't even let Lucas touch her most nights. She spent several weeks sleeping in the guest room, that Chelsea now occupied. She remembered the last time they slept together in their bed. Instead of his back being turned away from her, Josephine turned to find him facing her. Even in his sleep she could see how unhappy he was. But at the time, she wasn't sure why he was so angry. _He_ was the one who came home late. _He_ was the person that Josephine waited up for until almost three in the morning. The only one who should be angry was Josephine, yet somehow, someway, the argument fell back on her, and Josephine was once again up trying to figure out where she went wrong. 

Josephine thought back to that last awful conversation they had before he left screaming out the door. Josephine couldn’t understand how those awful words were the last words he’d say to her. Even after all her phone call attempts and text messages she was ignored, and instead received a phone call from an officer. 

Josephine sighed as she tossed the covers off of her and made her way out of her bedroom. Since she couldn't sleep, she might as well do something. Josephine opened the door to her bedroom stepping into the dark hallway. She flipped on one of the smaller lights, that only brightened the room enough to see, and quietly made her way to Abigail's room. Slowly opening her door, Josephine took a small peek inside and saw Abigail sleeping soundly in her bed. Josephine smiled at her little girl peacefully sleeping. Abigail was strangely hard to get to sleep earlier. Abigail never fusses, but today she kicked and screamed, until she sung her to sleep. It was surprising to Josephine, but Josephine can only blame herself. She let Abigail sleep with her in her bed for a long time. It's only fair that Abigail throws a tantrum over this change. 

Josephine backed out of the room and quietly shut the door behind her. Her eyes focused on the big purple butterfly across the room and Josephine froze. Her heart and mind both stopped working for a moment. However, there was a force that was telling her to go into the room, but Josephine ignored this voice and simply walked down the stairs ignoring the room behind her. Josephine walked into the kitchen to find Chelsea in the kitchen tapping away on her phone. Bobby's voice rang through her mind. 

_"Chelsea is also a bedroom away I hear; you could talk to her as well."_

Josephine bit her lip before walking fully into the kitchen. 

"Hey." Josephine spoke getting the attention of her blonde friend. Chelsea looked up and smiled as Josephine came to sit next to her at the kitchen table. 

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Chelsea asked softly. Josephine shrugged and brushed a small curl back behind her ear. 

"I couldn't sleep very well. What about you?" Chelsea shrugged as well. 

"Couldn't sleep either. Sleep isn’t our friend tonight.” Chelsea replied gazing out the back patio before turning back to Josephine. “How are you doing?” she asked. Josephine bit her lip before gazing down at her fingertips. 

"I don't know. I was just thinking about Lucas," Josephine cleared he throat before continuing. "Talking about him with Bobby this morning, sharing our favorite stories and stuff, and how happy it was. It was nice to talk about him and feel..okay? Does that make sense?" Josephine asked. Chelsea nodded her head in understanding. 

"Yes, it does. And it's okay to feel that way, Josephine." Chelsea told her. Chelsea watched as Josephine stopped picking at fingertips. Josephine's head was down, but she could still see her eyes form with tears as she began to get upset. 

"Yeah, I guess." Her voice cracked. "It's just-" Josephine gazed out the window continued to bite down on her bottom lip. "I never thought I'd be okay, but it's nice to know I am. I just miss him is all." Josephine replied wiping her tears away with her sleeve. "I haven't spoken on this, but our last conversation...was bad. We got into a big argument and we said some really mean things to each other. And now he's gone." Josephine cried. 

"Josephine I'm so sorry." Chelsea said moving chairs so that she was sitting beside Josephine. Chelsea grabbed one of Josephine's hands and clasping them between her own. Chelsea reached across the table grabbing a napkin before handing one to Josephine. Josephine gracefully accepted the napkin dabbing both of her eyes. 

"It's hard to believe that, that will be forever our last conversation. Sometimes, I can't even process how someone can be here and in the next moment they're gone. It's unfathomable how life can just be taken away from you right before your eyes. Without a goodbye, an I love You, nothing. They're just gone." Josephine sniffed, taking a deep breath to slow her emotions. "But after all of this..I can say that I'm okay with Lucas being gone. I feel like it's finally settled." 

"I'm glad that you've reached this point. It's great that your accepting it." Chelsea smiled. Josephine gave Chelsea a smile back before her eyes landed on the clock on the wall. 

"I guess I better get in the bed. Thank you for listening." Josephine muttered before walking out of the kitchen. Chelsea stayed behind in the kitchen as she watched Josephine leave. Chelsea was happy that Josephine reached a new level in her grieving, but now she was worried. The entire conversation surrounded around Lucas, but she didn't once mention Olivia. 

"Uncle Bobby!" Bobby laughed as little feet ran towards him and jumped on his legs. Bobby reached down as he detached his lovely niece from his legs. 

"What's up, buttercup? You're loud this morning." Bobby voiced. Abigail smiled at her uncle as he carried her into the kitchen. There he found Josephine putting random items in a backpack. She looked up giving Bobby a smile before continuing her job. 

"Uncle Bobby I have Ice Cream? Mommy says only if you say yes?" Abigail sweetly asked. Bobby looked at Josephine who smiled and nodded her head. Bobby smiled before pretending to put on his "thinking face" which consisted of him furrowing his eyebrows and puckering his lips. 

"Hmmmm, let me think.. the answer is yes! Let's go!" Bobby announced making Abigail clap her hands. Abigail wiggled herself out of Bobby's arms and ran to her mother. 

"Uncle Bobby said yes momma!" Abigail squealed. Josephine smiled and kneeled down to Abigail's level. 

"Aren't you so lucky. Why don't you go get your pink shoes huh?" Josephine smiled as she stood up and watched Abigail run out of the kitchen. Bobby laughed as he watched her little legs run before walking over to Josephine. 

"Ice cream huh?" Bobby asked. "Are you turning her into an Ice Cream fanatic like you?" Bobby joked. Josephine rolled her eyes. 

"Ha-ha Bobby. Abigail just knows what she likes." Josephine responded with a small smile. "We're actually going to the ice cream parlor. It's about a ten-minute walk from here. And then I was going to hit the grocery store. Would you like to join?" Josephine asked. 

"Sure!" Bobby happily agreed. "I've got no plans today." Bobby shrugged before Abigail trotted back in the room. 

"All ready?" Josephine asked. Abigail nodded her head. "Uncle Bobby is coming with us." Josephine giggled as Abigail gasped in shock. 

"You are?" Abigail asked Bobby. Bobby smiled and nodded. 

"This going to be fun!" Abigail squealed throwing her hands in the air. Bobby laughed and took a quick glance at Josephine. He quickly did a double take as he noticed Josephine turning away and wiping his eyes. Bobby cleared his throat before kneeling down to Abigail. 

"Hey Abi, why don't you go and pick out one of your toys to bring?" Bobby instructed. Abigail nodded her head before running out of the kitchen. Bobby stood up and slowly made his way over to Josephine who currently had her back to him. 

"Josephine, you okay?" Bobby softly asked placing a hand on her shoulder. Bobby heard her sniff before he watching the back of her head nod up and down. 

"I'm fine, just had a moment." Josephine responded as she continuously wiped her eyes. 

"Do you want to talk about it?' Bobby asked. Bobby wasn't able to hear her reply due to Abigail running back into the kitchen and making a statement that she was ready to go. Bobby watched Josephine quickly wipe her face before turning around with a smile on her face. Josephine stepped away from Bobby as she excitedly led Abigail to the front door. Bobby sighed before following after them. Josephine grabbed the stroller and soon they were on their way to get their yummy ice cream. The entire walk was pretty quiet, with the exceptions of Abigail who was happily riding in her stroller. Abigail liked to ask random questions every now and then, which Josephine lazily answered. Bobby noticed Josephine was deep in her thoughts. And he was lost in his as well. 

Once everyone was inside the ice cream store, they found a table in the back where they left the stroller before returning to the front of the store. Bobby looked around at all the different flavors inside the freezer. He scanned every row until his eyes focused on his favorite. Oreo Cookie Ice Cream. Bobby licked his lips in satisfaction. He couldn't wait to get a bite out of that. Bobby looked up and his gaze landed on Josephine, who was holding Abigail on her hip. 

"How about Strawberry?" Josephine softly asked Abigail. Abigail, who noticed the server smiling at her, hid her face in Josephine's neck. Josephine smiled and pulled Abigail closer in her arms. Josephine gave Abigail a small squeeze before asking for two small cups of strawberry in a cup. Bobby always found it funny how at home Abigail thrived, but in public became so shy in front everyone. A moment ago, she was running around and demanding for ice cream and now she was silent as a mouse. After paying and receiving their purchases they made their way back to their small table in the back. Josephine placed Abigail in the table closest to the wall caging her in while Bobby took the seat across from her. 

Bobby continued to watch Josephine and Abigail interact and this time Josephine seemed more in tune with the conversation. Bobby thoughts went back to just before leaving the house. He remembered her crying face and as soon as Abigail made her appearance, Josephine wiped her tears away and put on the biggest smile for her child. Bobby was impressed by her quick change in attitude. He wondered how she was able to do that so fast. Bobby knowing himself he wouldn't be able to pull himself together that quickly. But Josephine was able to do it in only a matter of seconds. It’s always been clear to Bobby that Josephine never wanted to be upset whenever Abigail was around. Which was fine. No child needed to see their parent deeply upset, but Bobby wondered how often Josephine was on the verge of a breakdown, but was stopped due to a two-year-old running in the room? It can't be healthy for Josephine. 

But here Josephine is. She was smiling and laughing with Abigail, like there was nothing bothering her. Like there wasn't a weight on Josephine's shoulder. A boulder weighing her down. But Josephine was strong. Josephine was able to bounce from those moments and still walk around with a smile on her face. Bobby could see her strength underneath it all. He could see that she was trying to stay afloat during this difficult time of mourning while also trying to raise her daughter. And he admired that about her. That no matter what, Abigail came first. She was a true mom. Hell, she was superwoman in his books. Ibrahim would be proud. 

After leaving the ice cream parlor Bobby notices a help wanted sign in the window. Bobby stared at window sing for a moment before moving to catch up with Josephine who was waiting for him. Bobby has been looking for a part time job ever since leaving the hospital kitchen back home. He hasn’t found much luck, but it seems like he might have found something. He’ll have to make sure he comes back tomorrow morning to apply. He needs some sort of income. 

Josephine kept the trip to the grocery store short. She only picked up a couple of items before they made their way back home. From there Josephine left Bobby in the kitchen as she put Abigail down for her nap. Josephine walked back downstairs to find Bobby making some tea on the stove. 

“Would you mind making me one?” Josephine asked hopping onto one of the counter seats. 

“Already on it! Abigail is already asleep?” Bobby questioned to which Josephine nodded her head in reply. 

“Great! We get to have a chat.” A wide smile formed on his lips to which Josephine almost rolled her eyes. She knew he wouldn’t let the incident this morning goes, until they at least had a full conversation. 

“Bobby-” 

“I just want to make sure you're okay is all.” Bobby told her handing her a mug. 

“I’m fine Bobby. I really am. Sometimes things just get the best of me.” Josephine explained. “It’s was just-” Josephine stopped talking biting on her tongue. “Never mind.” Bobby frowned at the loss of eye contact. 

“Just what?” Bobby quired wanting Josephine to finish her sentence. 

“Nothing Bobby.” Josephine cut it short hoping Bobby would catch the signal of wanting to end the conversation, but Bobby missed the cue. 

“Are you-” 

“Just drop it!” Josephine snapped at Bobby. Bobby closed his mouth shut. Bobby was surprised by that outburst. Even more surprised to see her glaring at him while trying to hold back tears. Bobby had no idea what to say or do. Should he try and comfort her or just drop the conversation like she said? Josephine has never snapped at him before. So, this was different. 

Bobby could feel his chest tighten and his hands clamp at being yelled like this. He’s never been good at confrontation. Bobby had to be honest with himself, he had no idea how to handle this situation. Josephine groaned shielding her face in her hands. Great. Josephine took a deep breath before rubbing the sides of her face with her hands. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I shouldn’t have done that.” Josephine apologized. “I just really don’t want to talk about this morning anymore.” Josephine apologized. Bobby gulped and nodded his head. 

“Alright, that’s fine. And since we are apologizing, next time I won’t push a conversation too much.” Bobby replied. He was glad to feel the tension leave his chest and proceeded to bring the normal energy between them back. “And if I do, you are more than welcome to pull on my ear. That’s how my mom got me to shut up as kid.” 

“I can only imagine how many times that’s happened Bobby. I’m surprised you still have both ears.” Josephine teased. 

“Would you still be friends with me if I didn’t?” Bobby questioned causing Josephine to laugh. 

“Of course, I would! Why wouldn’t I?” Josephine exclaimed. Bobby smirkingly shrugged with a nod of approval as he stirred his tea with a spoon. Josephine peered at him with a frown. “Well would you?” 

“Would I what?” 

“Would you still be friends with me if I had one ear?” Josephine demanded. Bobby chuckled before sipping his tea. “Oh my god, you wouldn’t!” Tea splashed out of Bobbys mouth and mug. Josephine glared at him as Bobby tried to maintain his choking in between his laughter. 

“I’m just kidding!” Bobby joked grabbing some paper towel and cleaning off the counter top. 

“I don’t know if I should belie-shh!” Josephine placed a finger on her lips stopping all conversation. Bobby stood still as he contemplated Josephine's next move or what she was listening to. And then Bobby heard it. It was faint to his ears, but to Josephine’s it was as loud as a speaker. Josephine hopped off the counter and ran out of the kitchen as Abigails cries filled the house. Bobby set down his cup of tea and followed Josephine out of the kitchen. 

Each step he took closer to the stairs, Abigail's cries turned into screams. It was loud. Bobby hasn’t heard her cry like that since the funeral. Reaching the top of the stairs, Bobby turned the corner to Abigail’s room. Her door was wide open and Bobby could see Josephine swaying Abigail back and forth in her arms. It was strange though. Josephine had her back to him and Abigail’s chin laid on her left shoulder. Bobby could see that Abigail’s eyes were closed as she screamed and thrashed around in her mother's arms. 

_She must be having some sort of bad dream._ Bobby thought to himself. Bobby had to admit, he wasn’t even aware children could have bad dreams at Abigail's age. Bobby tried to think back of his first night mare and he was around the age of at least seven, but Abigail was only two. It was freighting. He wished he could do something. 

And then underneath Abigail’s screams, Bobby heard another voice. This voice was soft and quiet. It sounded like an angel. Bobby knew this voice. 

_Sleep my child and peace attend thee_

_All through the night_

_Guardian Angels, God will send thee_

_All through the night_

Bobby listened intently to Josephine’s singing. He’s heard her sing before. He’s heard it several times in the past. And each time, he was always wanting to hear more. But this time was different. This time he felt like he was drowning in it. Her voice was calm and soothing. It could send anyone to heaven or put even the crankiest baby to sleep. Which was a true statement, considering Abigail’s screams turned into normal cries by each passing second. 

_O’er thy spirit gently stealing_

_Visions of delight revealing_

_Breathes a pure and holy feeling_

_All through the night_

Bobby could hear her more clearly, so now he was fully able to hear her voice. Last time Bobby heard her sing, was right before the girls were born. She was singing at a Christmas Concert for a Charity Event. She made the jingle bells rock that night, but right now the angels are singing with her above. Her voice was beautiful. _Just like she_ _is.._ It had the power to make a man fall in love. 

_Though sad fate our lives may sever_

_Parting will not last forever,_

_There’s a hope that leaves me never_

_All through the night_

By now Abigails cries were gone and she was quiet as she was now asleep in her mother’s arms. Josephine continued to sing as she gently placed Abigail back in her bed. Placing a kiss on Abigail’s head before she walking out of the room. Bobby caught the look of surprise on Josephine's face when she realized Bobby was standing in the hallway. Bobby noticed her teary eyes as she stood in front of him. 

Bobby opened his mouth to speak, but Josephine shook her head. Remembering their small spat from earlier, Bobby considered another option. Bobby opened his arms for a hug. Josephine wobbly smiled before she jumped in his arms. 

Bobby thought back to his earlier thought back at that ice cream parlor. What did he say Josephine was? Ah right! A superwoman. Josephine was a superwoman indeed. But unfortunately for Bobby, he wasn’t aware on just how much this superwoman was breaking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> tumblr: @diamondjordan


End file.
